99 Bottles of Skyy on the Shelf…

…I think I am sharing the wealth. Within a two mile radius of my home are a plethora of drugstores, grocery stores, convenience stores and liquor stores that can meet my need for one half-pint of Skyy vodka. Always just one. Each intended to be the last. Over the course of the day I vary […]

Live Your Way into Right Thinking?

I write this at my own peril. My wife—she who wears the pants, skirts and most of the dresses in this relationship—took great exception when I told her what I was planning to blog about. She didn’t explicitly forbid me from blogging on this topic, but the implication was that if I went down this […]

Taking the Leap of Faith

There was a man who got lost in the desert. The summer sun was sweltering. Even the cacti looked parched. Wandering for miles his mouth became very dry, his lips cracked and his body ached with thirst. In a weakened state he spied a shack in the distance and made his way there. Once inside […]

Thoughts on Acceptance

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers The slugfest began with my first Twelve Step meeting–I was twenty-eight. I was forty-two when I put the bottle down and waved the white flag of surrender. After little blips, like trying to burn down […]

Can Chores Keep You Sober?

Alcoholism runs strong on my mother’s side of the family. Though she has never imbibed—she being the white sheep from a rather colorful herd—I’d blame her for carrying the drink-till-I-puke-blood gene if I was prone to playing the victim card. Regrettably, in an era in which fully grown little boys and girls wear their victimhood […]

A Shadow of a Life

I barely exist I get up, reluctantly Work another day   Aimless, directionless, floundering   Going through motions Will the clock ever strike five? Shuffle out the door   Aimless, directionless, floundering   A drink, then another Then I lose count completely Involuntary nap   Aimless, directionless, floundering   Clanging alarm sounds The next verse […]

Sobriety Loopholes

Loopholes … if there is anything an alcoholic or addict likes it’s loopholes. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to get out from underneath laws, rules, guidelines and even the suggested steps of Twelve Step recovery. “That doesn’t apply to me. I know best.” That, sadly, is all too often my mantra. In my active drinking […]

Overcoming Victim Hood

We are all wounded. The more I work with alcoholics and addicts the more I realize that we all carry wounds from our past. Unfortunately in America it has been acceptable for far too long to remain “wound identified.” That is, we use our victim hood as our identity. We use it to elicit sympathy […]

Salvation in a Styrofoam Cup

Can salvation be found in a Styrofoam cup? I am beginning to think so. Let me explain. Yesterday was day three of a three-day weekend. I went into the weekend with three goals. One: Go through the stacks of old mail and resolve any open issues. Two: Rake up and bag all the leaves in […]

Blocking Our Inner Guide

I long fantasized about winning the lottery. When I was an active drunk, I was certain it would get me sober. When I was spiritually empty, I was certain it would fulfill me. Now, years later, I am grateful thatthe universe did not fulfill my wish. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “No change of circumstances […]