Fake It ‘Till You Make It???

Hang around the rooms of Twelve Step recovery long enough and you’ll hear someone drop the little gem: “Fake it ’till you make it.” For years I have been indifferent towards this little rhyme, but having given it a little thought I believe the next time I hear it I will smack the person who […]

A Classroom Called Hope

While still an active alcoholic, while still whoring it up on a regular basis, my hypocrisy knew no bounds. Six and a half days a week I was a degenerate, but for an hour on the Sabbath I rested from my degrading ways and taught a Sunday school class for sixteen year olds. Most of […]

Service: The Key to Spiritual Fullfillment

It starts with a Divine spark within. For me it was the smallest of embers after years of drinking alcoholically and living a selfish, self-centered life devoid of helping others. Note that I did not say a life devoid of loving thoughts. I had loving thoughts; I just failed to put them into action. Thoughts […]

Breaking the Cycle of Relapse

It was a Wednesday. It followed a weekend binge that didn‘t stop Sunday night, Monday morning or Tuesday afternoon. I kept calling in sick to work. I couldn’t stop. It would prove to be my last spree. It was a long time in the making. I went to my first Twelve Step meeting when I […]

Mind Jar Meditation

Lost in the mad rush of modern society is the concept of the Sabbath … a day of rest and rejuvenation. I needed rest and rejuvenation. I cared little of the debate whether the Sabbath falls on a Saturday or Sunday. I cared little of Biblical injunctions on what I could or couldn’t do on […]

Making Gratitude an Action Word

Several years ago, after being tipped off to the practice by a friend, I started wearing a rubber band around my right wrist. Thanks to the advent of the cell phone, I rarely wear a wristwatch so there is some empty fleshy real estate. But the rubber band is not a fashion accessory; rather, it […]

Why I Go To So Many Meetings

After putting in my eight plus at the 0l’ nine-to-five I jump in my truck to head home. Before hopping in I note the large dent in the driver’s side rear door where my wife had inadvertently backed into me. Oops! Wasn’t she the one that suggested I park up by the garage instead of […]

First Drink (Part 2 of 2)

Though I intended my first drink to be a social one it wasn’t meant to be. Both the friends I invited overcame from homes where alcohol was present. Since they had been allowed small glasses of wine on festive occasions, alcohol held no Mystique or Allure (the noun and transitive verb, not the headliners at […]

First Drink (Part 1 of 2)

I enjoy a good pee. It puts a smile on my face. Not only have I peed in some rather unusual places, like my boss’s potted desk plant, but I have literally been in a pissing contest. When I was a high-rise window washer in my early college years I had a supervisor who bought […]

And it begins like this…

I’m taking a whiz in an inappropriate place again. Apparently five plus years of sobriety have done little to suppress my “world-is-a-toilet” viewpoint. Tonight it’s on the side of a forest-green Waste Management Dumpster behind a Fry’s supermarket. The street sweeping company I drive for has sent me to clean the shopping center parking lot. […]