Sobriety Loopholes

Loopholes … if there is anything an alcoholic or addict likes it’s loopholes. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to get out from underneath laws, rules, guidelines and even the suggested steps of Twelve Step recovery. “That doesn’t apply to me. I know best.” That, sadly, is all too often my mantra. In my active drinking […]

Overcoming Victim Hood

We are all wounded. The more I work with alcoholics and addicts the more I realize that we all carry wounds from our past. Unfortunately in America it has been acceptable for far too long to remain “wound identified.” That is, we use our victim hood as our identity. We use it to elicit sympathy […]

Salvation in a Styrofoam Cup

Can salvation be found in a Styrofoam cup? I am beginning to think so. Let me explain. Yesterday was day three of a three-day weekend. I went into the weekend with three goals. One: Go through the stacks of old mail and resolve any open issues. Two: Rake up and bag all the leaves in […]

Blocking Our Inner Guide

I long fantasized about winning the lottery. When I was an active drunk, I was certain it would get me sober. When I was spiritually empty, I was certain it would fulfill me. Now, years later, I am grateful thatthe universe did not fulfill my wish. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “No change of circumstances […]

Relieve me of the bondage of self…

“Selfishness — self-centeredness!  That, we think, is the root of our troubles.”   Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) pg. 62 Heavy sigh… So last night I had the thought to write a blog on self-centeredness. Just this past week I had taken a sponsee through the Third Step. All my grand pronouncements and vast wisdom on […]

Sobriety is Like a Driving a Car

Apparently I think better with my feet in a bucket of water. At least that was the case this past Saturday. For Christmas, a couple who has befriended my wife and me got me a gift certificate to a local reflexology spa. I was jacked. A foot rub coupled with ninety minutes of massage. Merry Christmas […]

Learning to Live Sober

I see them every first and third Tuesday evening. Same meeting, different faces … with the exception of an occasional retread. My wife and I take a Twelve Step meeting into a local detox. Though we are there every other week the residents are only there for five days. Since the faces are typically new–the […]

A Dance with the Divine: The role of willingness in recovery

Getting sober or overcoming an addiction (drugs, food, shopping, binge-watching Game of Thrones, etc.) to placate someone else rarely works. We need to want it for ourselves. We need to make it our number one priority in order to foster the willingness to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober. In recovery, willingness […]

Messy Spirituality: The Role of Contrition

God loves imperfect people. This world is messy and imperfect. We are here to learn lessons. Like a beginning pianist learning to play Chopin, we don’t get it right the first time or the second. If you are as musically ungifted as me, you may not get it perfect even after months and months of […]

Seeing the world through the eyes of others…

It was a Wednesday morning rush hour commute. I was nearly four months sober. Gone were the days where I had to stop by the liquor store for a little “hair-of-the-dog” before heading into work. I was actually scheduling meetings first thing in the morning as I was no longer trying to hide my eighty-proof […]