The Final Manic, Part 1

My wife was dying. It was November l5th–our first wedding anniversary. It was at the ICU at Mercy Gilbert Hospital. Earlier that day she had tried to have me barred from the room. During the past six months her COPD (emphysema) had worsened. That past June she had been forced to give up the career […]

Insight is Cheap

There are those–and I have been one of them–who analyze themselves to the extreme. Buried in self- help books, racking up extensive therapy bills, losing themselves in guided hypnosis, they dig deep to know exactly why they are the way they are: a deprived childhood, an abusive spouse, a childhood of extreme indulgence, a smothering […]

Doubt

With a mood disorder like Bipolar One, my moods tend to be, well, disordered. Though I am fortunate not to be a rapid cycler–even without medications my manic episodes were years apart–each year when fall takes center stage and the days shorten, I sense melancholy in the cooling, darkening air and sorrow in the falling […]

Real World Tips for Beating Depression

Since starting this blog back in July I have primarily written blogs for those struggling with dual- diagnosis, those in recovery, and spiritual seekers in general (plus the occasional “just for fun” post.) I’ve had over 7,000 visitors, plenty of retweets and favorites on Twitter, but today I write for an audience of–one-me–but you are […]

God and the Tandem Bike

As a child I was introduced to the angry, judgmental God of the Old Testament. He sent floods, rained down fire and brimstone and sent armies to destroy people whose only fault, it seemed, was living in a land predestined for “chosen” people. In trying to get sober I was a little concerned when advised […]

Ideas of Reference

Nothing is more disheartening than making resolutions that are broken by January 3rd. For this reason I didn’t even begin my list of resolutions until Fall. This way, I can look at my behaviors and say, “I haven’t done X yet, maybe this is the year I won’t do X at all.” In making my […]

Personal Religion–CliffsNotes Version

“People want to be religious.” asserts scholar Karen Armstrong. That may be true, but organized religion, on the whole, has done a pretty lousy job of marketing itself as of late. Wars, beheadings, focus on the collection plate, homophobia, pedophilia, intolerance, scandals … I could list dozens of reasons why the each emerging generation identifies […]

Get the Right Perspective on Lack

A story is told of the father of a very wealthy family who took his son to visit a distant relative living in the country with the purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent the weekend on the farm of what would be considered, by most standards, a very poor family. […]

The Games Children Play

So one might ask what it’s like for a bipolar alcoholic to be involved with rearing children. Well, Breanne, my eldest daughter, only tried to send me to prison once. I often wonder if it was intentional. She was only four. It’s hard to gauge the motives of those little buggers when they are that […]

My Recovery Rocks Interview

So check out an interview I did for Veronica Valli… and check out her fantastic blog. http://veronicavalli.com/2014/09/recovery-rocks-rick-bernhisel/