The Reason It’s Called “The Present”

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Blue elegant gift boxIt was the end of the workweek. I was exhausted. The long commutes. Too much in my inbox. Not enough sleep. Not enough Twelve Step meetings.

There I was, sitting in on a leather recliner in my darkened room, staring blankly at the wall-mounted flat screen TV.

As I sat my mind was flooded with images and memories of my past–drunken public spectacles, bouts of mania ending in humiliation, awkward moments in my youth where I was sure everyone was watching, failures, disappointments and falling short of the mark. I despaired.

Then, turning on a dime, my thoughts raced into the future–bills, funding my retirement, the condition of the world for my children and grandchildren, the eventuality of illness and death. I was paralyzed with fear.

A regret-filled past. A fear-filled future.

I switched the TV off. I closed my eyes. I breathed deep. I listened.

At first nothing. $0 I went within and listened. Then the still small voice of the Divine spoke: “I AM.”

I paused. I waited.

The voice continued, “When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets it can be crippling. I am not there. My name is not ‘I WAS.’

“When you live in the future with its problems and fears, it is hard. I am not there. May name is not ‘I WILL BE.’

“When you live in this very moment it is not very hard. I am there. My name is ‘I AM’.”

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