Overcoming Shame–A Personal Story

If only shame were fleeting and impermanent. But it’s not. It’s sticky. Hard to remove. Crippling. Unlike justified guilt, which just tells me I did something wrong, shame says I am wrong-–defective to the core. Avoid me. Shun me. Whisk the children away at my coming. Guilt, if heeded, can be productive. I change my […]

Faith Must Be Fed

I am not what you would call a musical prodigy. There was a time after years of practice that I could pound out a reasonably passable tune on the piano. Take away the practice for any period of time, however, and my full repertoire reverts back to a rather mechanical rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little […]

True Tolerance

The foundation of true spirituality is an insight that seems, at first, counter intuitive: we are all imperfect. We are all flawed. We are all broken. If there is any doubt of this fundamental truth, consider the opposite. The prideful being. The being that looks down on others or considers himself superior, no matter how […]

Crushing the Mental Obsession

I thought about drinking. Not on occasion. Not when the weekend rolled around. Not when the workday drew to a close. But constantly. I was obsessed with the thought of a drink whenever alcohol was not metabolizing in my system. The mental obsession was my constant companion for over twenty years. But for the past […]

The Ball and Chain…

The first drink had few consequences. Sure there was the dry mouth and the shards of glass rattling around in my brain the next morning. But that cleared up relatively quickly. I didn’t drink again for a year. The second drink was a few shots of gin before high school wrestling practice. My coach asked […]

More on Acceptance

“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” — Michael J. Fox While it is important to accept life as it is, there is a catch. Acceptance implies that I am fully conscious and aware of how things really are, […]

99 Bottles of Skyy on the Shelf…

…I think I am sharing the wealth. Within a two mile radius of my home are a plethora of drugstores, grocery stores, convenience stores and liquor stores that can meet my need for one half-pint of Skyy vodka. Always just one. Each intended to be the last. Over the course of the day I vary […]

Live Your Way into Right Thinking?

I write this at my own peril. My wife—she who wears the pants, skirts and most of the dresses in this relationship—took great exception when I told her what I was planning to blog about. She didn’t explicitly forbid me from blogging on this topic, but the implication was that if I went down this […]

Taking the Leap of Faith

There was a man who got lost in the desert. The summer sun was sweltering. Even the cacti looked parched. Wandering for miles his mouth became very dry, his lips cracked and his body ached with thirst. In a weakened state he spied a shack in the distance and made his way there. Once inside […]

Thoughts on Acceptance

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers The slugfest began with my first Twelve Step meeting–I was twenty-eight. I was forty-two when I put the bottle down and waved the white flag of surrender. After little blips, like trying to burn down […]